The ART of Disappointment
Living in our divinely led purpose requires we do what is right, not what is popular. Learning the ART of Disappointment is in the job description.
Disappointment is part of the journey.
Twice in my career I’ve received messages from former clients telling me how “disappointed” they were in my choices. Ironically, in both they called me a fraud, accusing me of being in it for the money. In both instances we had an incredibly rich experience, but something shifted afterwards.
The first message was received 24 hours before my very first live event back in 2015. I received the second last fall as I was getting ready to launch The Uncommon Woman LIVE Tour. Impeccable timing! Thank God for my incredible friends, mentors, and spiritual guides who were there to lift me when I fell.
In our work we navigated through their painful pasts so they could unlock their truth and use their voices. The ultimate goal was to inspire, and serve, and live more authentically. Unfortunately, they pressed pause on their journey into deeper growth and integration after our time was over. Both of them had found their voice. However, they chose to use it for blaming and shaming, the opposite of what I teach in my programs. Ironically, it’s those very actions of shame and blame that impacted their lives early on and silenced their voices for decades to come.
Disappointment is a symptom of expectation
Both messages landed in my inbox completely unexpected. I’ve kept them.
They remind me that when I feel let down and disappointed the one responsible for that feeling is ME, not the person on the other side of my feelings. When we feel “disappointed” and let down by someone else’s actions we are projecting our need for them to do what makes us happy onto them, which is the ultimate form of shaming.
They saw me as a disappointment and a fraud because they disliked the choices I made for my life and life work. I work from the opposite end of that belief. I’m sorry they feel that way. However, it changes nothing.
By living our truth we are authentic and aligned, and living in our highest purpose.
I didn’t respond to either of these messages. I have interacted with the woman who sent me the first message over that past few years. She is always sweet and kind. I’m not sure she knows how hurtful her message was, or if she remembers sending it. I’ve moved on and obviously, so has she. We all do shitty stuff. To be honest, it was the best lesson I’ve ever had about the challenges we face living on purpose. I now see her loving and living and actively healing and doing great things in the world. That brings joy to my heart. We’re good. Maybe some day we can talk about it, or maybe not.
I may never hear from person #2. I wish her love and peace and continued healing so she sees that the only person who can fulfil her expectations is herself.
It’s your DIVINE DUTY to do your work.
Disappointment is part of the human experience, and most definitely a currency we pay for living in our purpose. Presume it, accept it, move on, and serve in the way you are called to serve. You are making a difference, even if others don’t see it. And, I assume at this point you know that approval has a short shelf life. No message of disappointment is going to change your God given appointment.
Keep leading with love, Sister!
Do you have a business or a purpose driven platform that requires you show up a story to tell and don’t know how to share it?
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